


Tiger Bay Melody

by caledonius72



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Crack, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:02:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2112684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caledonius72/pseuds/caledonius72
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rift alarm gives the Torchwood Five a break from the monotony of a quiet week below Roald Dahl Plass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tiger Bay Melody

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on [LiveJournal](http://caledonius72.livejournal.com/11594.html) \- 7th Feb 2010.  
> Blame my grandfather and his [8 track ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8-track_cartridge)of a certain recording artistes work. 8-tracks are now iPods, and this came on, and my mind wandered, and well, read for yourself...  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or it's characters, they belong to the BBC; I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit, likewise with the song.

The relative calm of the Hub was shattered by a discordant sound – after days of peace the Rift Alarm was sounding.

Semi-recumbent on the ratty sofa, Tosh threw aside Gwen's copy of Heat as she leapt up and scuttled over to her computer, her fingers fandangoing across the ergonomic keyboard that Ianto had thoughtfully requisitioned for her. “Incoming!” she bellowed across the vast space.

Gwen was already making her way up from the kitchen area, pulling off yellow rubber gloves, before the alarm had gone off - she’d been washing up. Ianto had eventually put his foot down – “I don’t mind making the coffee, but as a thank you, you lot can take it in turns to clear up.”

Owen had been down in the pit area, throwing the basketball at the hoop and joined Gwen as they gathered around Tosh’s workstation, ball tucked under his arm.

“What is it Tosh? I thought it was supposed to give us more warning?” Gwen asked, laying the rubber gloves on Tosh’s desk.

Tosh glanced at the gloves, invading her space. “It’s a predictor Gwen, as in it guesses. It’s not an exact science. Sometimes the Rift just goes off without warning.”

“Tosh?” Jack had left his desk, the sound of the metal balls of an executive toy (a secret santa gift) clicking against one another slowed to a stop. “Where and what?”

“I’m trying to pinpoint it but the readings aren’t making sense.”

The noise in the hub took on a strange discordant harmony as the intrusion alarm joined in counterpoint. Gwen moved across to her workstation and traced the source of the alarm.

She called across to the others “It’s downstairs, sub-level 3, it’s marked as ‘Stores’ on the floorplan.”

“Okay, Gwen, Owen - grab something from the armoury. Tosh – find out where that damn rift opening is. Ianto – Where is Ianto?”

“Downstairs, he said something about the bulldog clips going rogue” offered Gwen.

Jack took stock for a moment. “Tosh, find that Rift opening – and turn those damn alarms off! Gwen use the thermal scan to find exactly where Ianto is.”

***

Ianto straightened up, his head cocked to one side. He could barely hear the muffled sounds coming from above – 3 levels of stone and brick and concrete tended to distort sound – but it sounded like the Rift alarm. Activating his comms, he tried to reach the team, but only heard the hiss of static. Dammit, he was too far underground for the comms to work, back to old-fashioned analogue. He laid his pen and clipboard down, and walked across to the doorway, where a rather old intercom panel was at head height. Clicking one of the buttons, he was about to speak when he noticed a change in the light.

Normally the light levels were just bright enough – the fluorescent strip lights casting a blue tinge, but enough light to see by – a small pen-torch gave a boost when he needed to see what was in a nook or cranny. If he was sure no-one would be looking for him, he'd wear the torch mounted on a headband, not exactly a cool look, but it did leave both hands free for grappling.

Looking up there was a spot of light at the ceiling, twinkling and glittering in the space. Ripples of golden light dancing across the room like sunlight through clear water.

“Jaaaack! Tosh! Anyone?” called Ianto into the microphone. No reply – not even a static crackle. Looking down he noticed a bundle of shorn wires sticking out of the intercom. “Great, just great” thought Ianto; he began banging his torch against a metal pipe, hoping Jack could hear the Morse code...

...the torch rattled as it landed on the brick floor, rolling back and forth as the golden light dimmed.

***

“Toshiko Sato, where in Cardiff is that rift opening up?” Jack was beginning to get annoyed – an intrusion alert, hot on the heels of a rift alert, was not a recipe for a happy evening. Jabbing a finger in his ear, he activated his comm. “Ianto Jones, check in, NOW!”

There was a sudden silence. Tosh beamed up at Jack from her hunched position over the keyboard.

Jack turned to her, “Thank you Tosh. And the rift?”

Owen and Gwen met up with Jack and Tosh on the platform, arms laden with a variety of weapons, including the portable prison.

“Any sign of Ianto? We need his expert knowledge for the basements” asked Gwen.

“Nothing on the comms, and that worries me” answered Jack.

“The Rift, it opened up in the same place as the intrusion” exclaimed Tosh. “That’s why I was confused.”

Jack took a breath, ready to bark out some orders, but was stopped short. A crunching, grinding noise rose up from the pit area just in front of the base of the water tower.

All four of them looked down to see the floor rending, twisting and mangling – leaving a circular hole. Four sets of weapons rose into the air, and tracked the movement.

“Wh-what’s that?” Owen gestured with his pistol as shards of light began to dance around the hub. As they looked on, a glow began to appear, aimed at a point above where the floor had been reconfigured.

“Tosh? Are you getting all of this?”

She shook her head and hurried over to her machine, punching the keys to record everything and set the scanners running, she synced the scanners with her PDA and brought that across, pointing it at the phenomena.

“Residual rift readings, low but significant, I can’t detect the source of the lights, it’s as if it’s an echo or something...”

She tailed off as the hub began to fill with ghostly music, echoing off the dank stone walls.

“Dammit Owen, have you left your iPod running?”

“No way! Not this shit music”

A brisk tempo had been set by the opening bars – xylophone, bass guitar and piano. Gwen began to count the bars, the music sounding familiar to her.

“1, 2, 3, 4... 2, 2, 3, 4...”

She’d barely counted the second bar, when the music built and became louder, movement came from the empty hole. Again the weapons were pointed in the direction of the floor.

The top of a dark head began to appear, then the face...

“Ianto! What the hell are you doing?”

“Why the hell haven’t you answered your comms?”

Ianto did not acknowledge them. His hands were held as if cradling an invisible floor mic, his eyes were shut, and a playful smile danced across his features.

“3, 2, 3, 4... 4, 2, 3, 4...”

Ianto’s body had completely cleared the floor level, and a few feet of a podium soon followed. With a clunk, the whole assembly stopped moving. Ianto was perfectly lit by the invisible follow-spot, the points of light dancing over and around him.

“5, 2, 3, 4... 6, 2, 3, 4...”

On the fifth bar, the brass section joined in.

“It’s a glitterball!” exclaimed Owen. “That’s what those lights remind me of, the bounceback from a glitterball.”

“Rift readings are higher, and the intruder has left the basement, it’s right in front of us.”

“That’s no intruder, that’s Ianto” countered Jack.

Just then, Ianto’s eyes opened slowly, looking up sultrily through his lashes at Captain Jack, an unnatural sparkle in his eyes.

“Owen, Tosh. Tell me something.”

“7, 2, 3, 4... 8, 2, 3, 4...”

“I’m reading Ianto, but there’s another energy signature there too. Like it’s superimposed on top of him, or within him. The computer can’t decide which”

“Well, looks as if Teaboy is under the influence of something or other. Those eyes are not normal. Shall we shoot him?”

“No, let’s see how this plays out first. I will not have my staff shot, and if anyone’s going to do it, then it will be me. Am I understood?”

“I meant with a tranquilliser” grumbled Owen.

The music had built up, a drum roll at the end of the eighth bar, and they all saw Ianto take a breath, and he began to sing.

_I will love you_  
 _As I love you all my life_

“What the hell?”

_Mmm, every moment spent with you_  
 _Makes me more content with you_

The team stood jaws agape as Ianto began to sway in time with the music, his eyes wide and locked on to Jack.

_Just as you are_  
 _You are all I could pray for_

Owen grabbed the Bekaran deep tissue scanner and stepped down to the pit area, moving closer to Ianto, his eyes flicking up at Ianto and down at the screen, an “I can’t believe it” smirk on his face.

_All that you are_  
 _That's what I wake up each day for_

“Pulse rate is high, endorphins are high, adrenalin is through the roof. Respiration is good though.”

_Every single touch and tingle I adore_

A saucy grin formed on Jack’s lips, he folded his arms and stopped to take in Ianto’s serenade.

_Every kiss from you to me_  
 _Always seems so new to me_

As he sang, Ianto’s arms extended and performed precise, flamboyant gestures, his mouth being pulled to one side or another as he sang.

_Each one warmer than the one before_

Tosh was squinting at her screen and then at Ianto. “Look, there’s something cloaking him, look on the screen!”

_As I love you more and more and more_

Gwen looked at the screen, sure enough there was an afterimage, like a halo, around Ianto. Bouffant hair, a long evening dress, diamonds glittering at the throat and wrists.

_Every single touch and tingle I adore_

“It’s a glamour.” Jack had worked out what was going on.

_Every kiss from you to me  
_ _Always seems so new to me_

“A what?” begged Gwen.

_Each one warmer than the one before_

“Wait Gwen, once this is all over, I’ll explain.”

_As I love you more and more and more_

As the song built to a finale, the rest of the team just stopped and admired Ianto.

_Mmm, as I love you more and more and more_

Technically perfect, his voice had a depth to it that was warm and soulful. He really seemed to be pouring his all into the number.

_Ooh, as I love you more and more and more_

On the last line, and as the music faded, a shaft of golden light left Ianto and coruscated up the water tower and out of the Hub. Ianto’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the floor.

*** 

 

Owen was the first to reach him. “It’s all right, he’s just passed out. Told you about the adrenalin.”

By now Jack was crouched over Ianto, patting his cheeks trying to rouse him.

“Owen, take his legs. Let’s get him onto the sofa.”

“Jack! Look!” Gwen gestured to the floor underneath Ianto’s inert form.

Owen and Jack froze in horror as the podium on which Ianto was slumped began to recede the way it had arrived. With a grunt of effort, they hoisted Ianto clear.

By the time they’d manhandled Ianto to the sofa, there was no evidence at all that anything had happened. The floor looked as it always had done, the ghostly lights had disappeared.

“Okay, okay, don’t crowd him. Tosh, go and get a glass and a jug of water. Gwen, go and get the medkit from the autopsy bay. Jack, just stay the hell out of my way.”

Jack moved over to Tosh’s workstation and began punching the keys, calling up the recordings as Gwen and Tosh followed Owen’s orders.

“Urggggh. Wha-what’s going on? Why am I on the sofa? Owen, stop poking me!” Ianto tried to rise up into a sitting position, but a firm press of Owen’s palm on his chest, told him to stay put.

“Quite a show you gave us there Ianto. Stay still for a while. Gwen! The kit!”

“Here. You all right love?”

“My throat feels raw, dizzy as hell, i feel like I’ve fallen down a flight of stairs. But apart from that Gwen, I’m feeling ticketyboo. Now WHAT the hell happened?”

A glass of water was thrust into his hand, “Jack seems to know what’s been going on.” Tosh had come back, and was glancing over at Jack.

“Right matey, swallow this while I give you a shot.”

“I’m not swallowing anything until I know what it is, and you can keep that hypo away from me.”

“The pill is to replace lost electrolytes, and shot is a mild sedative. You’re hyper Ianto, you need to get calm.”

“Calm, oh I’m calm Owen, like a glacier. But if I don’t get an explanation soon, then it’ll take more than a little prick from you to calm me down.”

Jack swivelled around. “Glad to see you back with us again, Ianto Jones. I never knew your mouth could make those noises... Do as the doctor ordered.”

Ianto took the pills from Owen’s hands and with an eye roll, swallowed them and then yelped. “Ow, dammit Owen, I thought you knew how to inject people?”

“I do, but that’s what happens to teaboys who question my medical skills.”

“Right, that is IT! Decaf all round unless someone starts talking. You have ten seconds.” Ianto clicked the button on his stopwatch.

“Ianto, don’t be so mean. Sit up and take a look.” Jack wheeled a trolley with a monitor over to his team who were all perched on the sofa.

Ianto recognised the tone of Jack’s voice. A blend of amusement, and ‘here comes the lecture’. He groaned and pulled himself into a sitting position.

Jack was obviously proud of himself as he ran the data package he had assembled. He’d split the screen into quadrants, and was running the scans and footage in parallel.

“Okay, so this is us when the rift alert kicked off.” His finger indicated the activities in the hub. “Here’s you.” Jack’s broad finger jabbed at a thermal image of Ianto in the basement. “Here’s the rift readings.” Data flowed swiftly across the screen, a wave of activity like a heart monitor. “And this one’s our visitor” A blue blob appeared on the screen not far from the thermal image of Ianto.

“Watch what happens”

The team hunched over, finding it strange to see themselves on screen.

“Tosh? Is there a way to stream this into a wireframe? I want something 3D.”

“Ummm, I think so, let me have a play” Tosh grabbed a wireless keyboard and began pulling and pushing the data feeds and images. “How’s this?”

“Perfect! So while we’re up here fretting about the alarms, our good friend Ianto is being possessed by a glamour.”

“A what?” This was the first Ianto had heard of what had befallen him. “You have got to be kidding”

“Nope” grinned Jack. “They’re mostly harmless, but they pick up on local resonances and amplify them as a fuel source; on some worlds that can cause trouble. On others, well, it's just a bit of fun.”

“What resonances, Jack? Some kind of psychic ability?” Gwen was intrigued; now Ianto was okay, she wanted to know more.

“Somewhat psychic, but you know that buildings and locations have a resonance just as much as people do?”

“I think so, some buildings feel _wrong_ , and you can’t wait to get the hell out.”

“Kind of. But the glamour picks up on past events and current moods and all sorts of resonances. It jumbles them up and kind of feeds off them.”

“So what happened to me tonight? Why me?”

“You were the nearest thing to it when it arrived. Imagine, you end up somewhere unexpected and alien, what’s the first thing you’d do? Run for cover. That’s what the glamour did.”

“So I was basically a hole in the ground?”

“Essentially, yes you were. It could have been any of us.”

Owen was puzzled. “But if it had possessed Ianto, how did it do the rest of the stuff, like the floor and the lights?”

“It picked up the resonance from the surrounding area, and compared that with Ianto’s knowledge and feelings, and then made a best guess at what would give it the most nourishment and made the necessary changes to get what it wanted. They never like to harm, it’s not in their nature.”

“But what was that song? And why could Gwen and I see that superimposed figure, like a ghost.”

“All part of the glamour’s effect. We’re a bit more sensitive, and perhaps the Rift had an effect. Normally you’d only see what it wanted you to see. Ianto’s strength of character was a bit too much for it to counteract in the circumstances.”

“Jack? Can you play the clip of Ianto singing? I think I know the song and the singer.” The penny had dropped for Gwen.

The video filled the screen and every part of Ianto’s performance was there for them to watch in high definition. Ianto alternately squirmed in his seat, a palm halfheartedly covering his face, and shot daggers at Jack for laughing and humming along.

Jack stopped the playback just at the end of the song. “You've got a great voice Ianto – you will be singing something at the next Karaoke night, no excuses now. Kind of catchy tune though, I liked it. What is it?”

Gwen and Ianto shared a look.

“As I love you”

“Shirley Bassey”

“1959 AA-side, first Welsh recording artist to get to number one” Ianto’s encyclopaedic knowledge served him well.

“But why Shirley Bassey?” asked Tosh.

“Good god woman, she’s Welsh.” cried Owen “Isn’t that enough?”

“Okay, Welsh then, but why her and not Tom Jones or Charlotte Church or Cerys Matthews?”

Again, Gwen and Ianto shared a look.

“She was born and grew up in Tiger Bay”

“Which is the old name for...”

“...Butetown, which is...?”

“Where we are now!” exclaimed Jack.

“Well done Jack. Ten points to Hufflepuff” deadpanned Ianto

“Right we’ve established why Shirley Bassey, but why that song and not Big Spender or Diamonds are Forever?” Tosh had too much of an enquiring mind sometimes, thought Ianto.

Jack turned to his general support staff and grinned. “Yes... Ianto, you’re the only one that can answer that one. The glamour must have picked that from you.”

Ianto’s ears turned red. He stared into the middle distance. “It was one of my Gran’s favourite songs.”

Not one of his teammates believed him, but they were too fearful of caffeine-based retaliation to call him on it.

“But where did it go?” Owen was starting to worry he’d be next in line.

Jack had the answer. “Ianto gave it the boost it needed, plus our reaction. It’s the combination of resonance and activity that it feeds from. We gave it a feast, so it just... moved on.”

Ianto tried to draw a line under the whole sorry episode. “So what you’re telling me is that I was possessed by an alien which forced me to sing and act like Shirley Bassey to give it enough fuel to escape?”

“Sounds about right”

Ianto considered the implications. “Could have been worse. Could have been Bonnie Tyler”

***

Later, after the others had gone, Jack and Ianto lay entangled and sated on Jack’s bed.

“So... every single touch and tingle, eh?”

Ianto snorted, and leant in close to Jack.

“All I could pray for” he whispered.

 


End file.
